What I Learned About God While Writing My Memoir

In June 2022, I found myself unemployed for the second time in my life. Both times happening in my fifties. In both instances, my role’s elimination was explained using elusive corporate double speak, like I used when I laid off people; when I ran the show or at least believed I did.       

The first time I was laid off, it devasted me. My ego, my sense of self-worth, and my life was absolutely tied to my employment. My work solely defining who I was at home and on the town.

My encore lay-off, disappointing but not devasting. The difference between disappointment and devastation; God.

Because of my spiritual awakening, my born-again moment; my ego, my sense of self-worth and my life are now rooted in the garden of God’s love. Planted in Eden, our inseparability from our Creator engrained in my heart and embedded in my spirit.

As my newfound hours and minutes began to accumulate, I started writing again about purpose. Particularly, my purpose as I thought about my past life when I resisted God’s love and choose to chase only my own cravings.

My writing about purpose eventually leading me to write about my life, and the eternal experience of all Prodigal children. It would also begin to lead me down fresh paths as I began to live a new life and share my good news of the Good news.  

A dozen tissue boxes later, I would finally complete my memoir. My Biblical story of grace, mercy, redemption, salvation and most of all; love. God is love.

As I begin the publishing process of sharing my words of faith with the world, it occurred to me that my story is really about God’s way of love for all people. People like me and people unlike me. My heart clear with what was once hidden from my heart. My head sharp as I reflect on what I’ve learned while writing my memoir.

God is generous. Writing about my life helped me appreciate, even if I cannot comprehend, God’s generous generosity. Like everything else about the nature of God, I’m still in awe of our Creators kindness. Still searching for all lost sheep to bring them Home.

To save them from themselves; to save me from myself. To do the possible with the perceived impossible. To overcome death. To make possible everlasting life.

I think about all the times I fail(ed) at creating more love in the world, and yet, God has laid down his blameless life for my blamed life. The God of all the Universe is so generous that He listens to me. A child whining about things that really don’t matter but that matter to me (at least in this moment).

God is generous. I perhaps came into this world because two teenagers were in love. I definitely came into this world because my single underage teenage mother choose life. I, like all people, was created because of Love.

My birth mother unselfish. Choosing adoption and giving me the opportunity to be raised by loving parents who were wanting to bring children into their relationship. Adopting me as their eldest child, God blessing my parents with two more children who aren’t adopted.

Raised in a loving Christian home, love surrounded my young life. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins who unconditionally loved me, not because of my origin but because of destination. Family because of love not blood.

My child and teen years filled with generosity. Church members, scout leaders and schoolteachers who unselfishly giving of their time and their experience to help me be a better human. To help prepare me for my life’s journey to find Life and Truth and Love.  

God is, wait for it, generous. As a very unhappy adult, I had given up on my relationship with God. Believing serpent lies about the true nature of God, I disavowed my own true nature as a child of God. Created to create and honor God.

God never gave up on me. God filling my life with friends and family who have always loved me and like God, have never given up on helping me find my way Home.

I see all the beauty that surrounds me. Majestic mountains, stunning sunsets and amazing animals including cats; chiefly cats. Strange, fascinating and loving creatures who penetrated my hardened heart unlike any human. Furry and felty felines sent by God to find my heart and free it from falsity and fear.     

God is Love. Love is always generous. God loves you.

Peace.