How we understand the world is how we understand ourselves, others and our faith; and yes, we all have a faith, even the most ardent atheist or apathetic agnostic. Every human needs purpose and perseverance to prevent a life of pointlessness. When we lack meaning in our lives we become lost in a despair of darkness. A deliberate distraction that destroys our will to live and delays our way to the Truth.
By the grace of God, my humbled and repentant heart came to comprehend and truly trust in the Peace that passes all understanding. To embrace the Way, the Truth and the Life. To recognize that loving God and neighbor is my life’s definitive purpose. God is love.
Through the study of scripture, we are invited to connect with God’s story. Words that are intuitive when we walk humbly, do justice and love mercy. Words that remind me that grace is gift only from God, as opposed to something I can achieve or acquire through my actions. Words that the faithful have contemplated throughout millennia in perusing, prayer, preaching, prose, performing, conversation and community.
These holy verses not only shaped my beliefs about God but my faith in God. Like love, God and faith, are eternally active. Representing dual sides of the same divine denomination. Faith in anything other than the living God leads to death. Love absent of a living faith leads to death.
But my faith, particularly when I was younger, was damaged, devalued and nearly destroyed because I did not believe God is love. God was law. God was fear. God was punishment. God could never love someone like me.
Except in love there is no fear. Fear has to do with punishment. Perfect love drives out fear.
Love rescued me from understanding scripture solely as a routine of rules. Rules that no human has ever accomplished. As Paul reminds us, the very commandment intended to bring life actually brought death. I did not understand grace because I believed in the law not love. I believed in myself not God. I believed in something other than Love.
Reading scripture solely as a set of rules, opens up the human heart to a fruitless fight of pride and judgement. Believing our thoughts, our views and our opinions encapsulate the “true” meaning of scripture. Faith that births a belief based on rules not grace; certainly not love.
Rules that we the “faithful” follow. Rules that we employ to condemn others because they don’t adhere to our understanding of scripture. Rules that replace love with legality. Rules that become a faith based on works. A faith that every human has failed; again, and again and yes, again.
Just like the false political propaganda of other humans as enemies, when we understand scripture as rules as opposed to wisdom, we fall into the same circular snare. What inevitably ensues is a series of disagreements and disputes bereft of humility, hearing and heart-to-heart honesty. Proving my point becomes my faith instead of subverting myself in service to Love.
The craziest aspect of a belief system rooted in rules is that it will always set us up for failure. It will always set up every human for failure. We all get things wrong. We all will continue to get things wrong. Grace devolves into a demerit not a gift.
Wisdom innately opens hearts and minds; rules inherently close hearts and minds. Wisdom helps us understand that faith is always rooted in a context; a context no one alive today has experienced. Wisdom brings awareness that faith is always inherited; we learn our faith from other flawed humans. Wisdom is a reminder that all humans are imperfect, incomplete and influenced. Wisdom whispers to our faith that grace is for both you and me and everyone.
We should struggle with discerning and discriminating scripture; like every human who helped shape God’s words and every human who was shaped by God’s words. There are inconsistencies throughout the Bible, not because God is inconsistent, but because the wisdom of God is in the meaning not the method. Faith points to purity of heart, not problematic puzzles for the head.
Rules are helpful but rules are never about grace, and any faith that lacks grace lacks love. Love covers a multitude of sins, and Love continues to cover my sins. Wisdom from above is first pure then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
Peace. God loves you.
If you want to learn more about my spiritual awakening, you can read or listen to Finding God in Vegas: A Gen X Spiritual Awakening; available on Amazon and all platforms in print, electronic or audio.