A (Writer) Human Learning to Trust God
On a dark desert night in February 2022, I finally stopped running from God. Relinquishing my heart to God, as I embraced the peace that passes all understanding. A peace that had been elusive since my childhood. A peace that evaded me as a teenager, as I struggled with who God created. A peace that escaped me as an adult when my life was all about chasing my desires and the deceptions of this world.
Humbled and repentant, I’m trying to make my life only about serving God and his kingdom. Learning the language of life. Laboring to live a life of righteousness. Looking to lead with love in every situation and in every setting with all my earthly brothers and sisters. Images who reflect the Divine like you and me. God is love.
In service to my Savior Jesus Christ, I discovered or maybe rediscovered, my passion for writing. A gift from God. A gift I neglected and abandoned as an adult. The Word now guiding my words as I bare testimony to the Light of the world.
Letting my little light shine as I craft and communicate my written words of God’s redemptive and redeeming love for all people. Posting daily devotions on my social media profiles. Writing weekly stories about faith and culture on my Substack page and working with like-minded and talented people to publish my memoir, my story of faith with a world that loves the darkness.
A darkness I once loved. A darkness I still struggle with at times. A darkness tempting me to want what I want and opposed to trusting in what God wants for me.
Like some famous and so many unfamous writers, I write because I’m passionate about pursuing truth. Or in my case, professing the Truth. A passion that may or may not bring fame or fortune.
A passion that’s paradoxical because every writer I’ve ever met wants recognition for the words they write; words they share generously with the world. Words that are deeply deliberate, predominantly personal and morally meaningful. Crafting timeless stories that illuminate the human experience of good and evil; light and darkness.
My own heart happy when likes and emoji hearts are posted by people who found what I wrote to be inspirational or meaningful. My spirit soaring when comments of encouragement and gratitude are given after reading my stories. Remembering the little Latin I do know, Soli Deo Gloria; to God alone be the glory. Amen.
An expression completely at odds with my desire for earthly recognition and rewards. A statement of faith reminding me that my writing isn’t really about me even if it’s about me. Mindful that our lives and our work should add to the glory of God. Glorifying his name alone and his heavenly kingdom, not the kingdom of this world.
Spiritual whispers that speak to my heart, giving me the encouragement and the perspective I need to stay motivated and committed to my writing. Scriptural words of wisdom reminding me of whose kingdom my loyalty now belongs too. Abandoning this worlds approval after my futile attempts to secure a literary agent for my memoir; gate keepers of the establishment; guardians of this world.
Publishers are businesses and businesses are all about maximizing profit while minimizing risk. Literary agents are all about famous clients or virtue signaling or the “approval” of their peers at the New York Times. A world in opposition to the Word because you cannot serve both truth and money.
A truth that also reminds every faith filled person, biblical and contemporary, whose kingdom we’re supposed to seek. A world view at odds with this world. A lesson I’m still learning daily as I learn to trust in God alone.
Our words, like our lives, will wither away. The earth and sky will pass away, but His words will never pass away. Learning daily to trust in his promises and his actions alone because that’s where grace is given. The grace that offers everyone both peace and eternal life.
A gift far more valuable than my words or the worlds approval and accolades. Learning to seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness. Knowing in my heart that all these things shall be added unto me and you in due time.
Peace. God loves you.
My social media profiles.