Broken but Healing
I am a broken man.
My spirit shattered and my soul suffering when I began to question everything I was taught in my youth and came to believe as an adult. Like pulling the proverbial loose thread, my whole world would unravel. Collapsing like a house of cards built on sand. Discovering and determining that every truth I held in my head and trusted in my heart was a lie.
Deceptions of this world contrived by the Deceiver of this world. Dishonesties I still struggle with as I come to know the Truth. Dark distortions that cause me to stumble as I search to find the Way. The Devil employing everything in this world to impede me from embracing the Life.
I believed in a world that was only about my needs. I behaved as is if I was the center of the universe. I belittled those who disagreed with me.
My worldview was modern day materialism mixed with post WWII globalism. A worldview in which humans are objects to be used. Resources are scarce. One should never question the experts. Blindly believe in governments and institutions and corporations. Propaganda is only created by our enemies. Being told who my enemies are; enemies that shift over incident and instance.
And the greatest lie of all, God was dead.
Until I came to believe in a power much higher than I. Repentant and reborn, my heart was humbled, my eyes were opened, and my life was saved. Believing that God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world, that He gave His only begotten Son.
Because I believe this, I’m learning to trust only in Him. Not in any human or human institution or whatever the Devil may offer me. The tempter and this world offering us only death. God through the Son offering everyone eternal life, but only if you believe in him.
Now knowing the greatest truth of all, God is alive.
No longer serving this world, I realize that those humans who are considered objects, are never the privileged. Love teaching me that every person is valuable because they reflect the image of God.
No longer serving this world, I realize that resources are only scare for the many, but not the few. Love teaching me that scarcity is about fear and generosity leads to abundance for all people.
No longer serving this world, I realize that our experts are conflicted by their own self-interest which is never fully transparent as they lecture others. Love teaching me that those who love darkness will do evil.
No longer serving this world, I realize that our multiple levels of government, institutions and corporations are deeply conflicted and often act to advance their own self-interest. Love teaching me to do unto others and that everyone is my neighbor.
No longer serving this world, I realize that propaganda is created and disseminated by those it seeks to serve. Peddling fear, anxiety, discord and falsities. Vehement voices on the left and the right seeking to silence anyone who dares to question them by asking why. Love teaching me that the truth will always set us free.
No longer serving this world, I realize that my enemies the managerial and professional class. The establishment and the elites. Love teaching me to love my enemies and pray for those who might persecute me.
I am a man healing.
Learning that perfection is a myth and intention is everything. Knowing that only God can discern my heart and only God can offer me genuine grace and meaningful mercy. Trying to love others deeply, because God loved me first.
Clothing myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Consoled that when I miss the mark, and I do, that love covers over a multitude of sins. Offering forgiveness of others because I’m asking God for forgiveness.
I believe in a world that’s not only about my needs. I try to behave knowing that I am not the center of the universe. I attempt to no longer belittle those who disagree with me.
My worldview is God is love and God loves me and you.
Peace.