A week into my sixtieth year and my mind has multiplied with a million memories. Cerebral photographs of people and places that remind me of world’s that no longer exist. The world I grew into; and the world I tied my sense of self too.
Human creations I believed were endless and everlasting. Human concepts I believed defined and described me. Human constructs I believed to be my rock and refuge. A human-centric faith that would eventually collapse and fail me.
A house built on sand. A head filled with falsities. A heart hoping for love. Only to discover hollowness in the home I have built here. No one, including me, can lay my life’s foundation; that’s already been laid by Jesus Christ.
I came of age in a culture and community that has ceased to continue. What remains are warm hearted remembrances of an analog world. My mind’s memories narrated by mutual experiences and meaningful engagement with other humans and nature.
Technology had not yet overtaken our lives. Like the sly serpent of old, still misleading humanity. Instead of experiencing life through what God created, we diminish our lives by binding ourselves to the devices we created. Every generation spellbound by its own golden calf.
Forty years ago, the kids of America danced and sang together at concerts, as opposed to filming them. We rejoiced in our reality, as opposed to scrolling through deceitful bots and incentivized influencers on social media. We didn’t seek the approval of the anonymous; our friends were factual not virtual.
Work didn’t require our attention on the weekends or weekday evenings. In many ways, we lived a life that resembled the rhythm of our ancestors; a music that’s been abandoned. Today we only hear the monotone melody of authoritarian automation.
I was taught that by and large our government would do no harm. If it did, it was the exception not the rule. Public trust was high for institutions and professionals. Never once thinking, many were (and still are) financially conflicted. Academia was full of diverse opinions and both political parties still feigned concern for the working class.
My young life was centered on church and country, and both would fail me in their own ways. Answers for this failing grade explained and elucidated in my memoir. When my bedrock of childhood faith crumbled, I would rebuild my life’s foundation based solely on my efforts and my energies.
My adult life sought the sort of success needed to satiate my sensory smorgasbord. Even while my heart remained empty, my wealth runneth over. Experiencing the riches of this world because I believed only in this kingdom. Food and cocktails; flesh and comfort. Gloria mihi soli; glory to me alone.
My soul soiled with the stains of this world. My fall would follow my pride. At fifty-two, a corporate axe would chop my career after sixteen years. What remained would be a stump that no longer added any value to the world; or so I thought.
Three years later, my faith in my foundation would fall. Like a sandcastle, I am incapable of resisting the tide of time. I am inept at saving myself. I am the creature not the Creator. I reflect His light, but I am not the Light.
Humbled by hope and redeemed by Love, my life’s foundation would now be built upon His rock. My faith would no longer be tied to the things in this world. Things that will all pass away; things like me and the people and pets I have loved.
Buried underneath the wreckage of all that I once believed was a mustard seed of faith. A gracious gift planted by my parents and my pastors. Dormant for forty years, it would germinate and grow. Feeding and fortifying my heart and soul. My freshly formed branches extending to cling to the Vine.
My foundation is now firmly fixed in the Father, Son and Spirit. My false faith in everything else forsaken but not forgotten. My life’s field is filled with treasure.
My heart’s allegiance belongs to the kingdom of heaven. My life is saved through His love. All of creation is saved through His love. God is love. The old has passed away; the new has come.
Peace. God loves you.
If you want to learn more about my spiritual journey, you can read or listen to my award-winning memoir Finding God in Vegas: A Gen X Spiritual Awakening; available on Amazon and all platforms in print, electronic or audio.